Me, myself and marriage

What is it about marriage that makes LDS people (girls especially) go, well, a little crazy? Oh yeah, maybe it's the whole YOU CANNOT BE A GOD/GODDESS WITHOUT IT. Slightly important. Not to mention the I-don't-want-to-be-alone-for-the-rest-of-my-life outlook. And it's good to focus on marriage. After all, when our entire religion is based on going back into God's presence with our eternal families, you might want to spend some time discussing that.

Still, all this marriage talk is starting to drive me a little crazy.

As you may know, I'm not exactly looking for marriage. I'm not in love and haven't seriously dated anyone in a while. So it may come as a surprise for you to know that I deliberately went to a marriage discussion today.

I know, I'm shocked too.

I was with the girls from my ward. All of them great, attractive, leading fulfilling lives, etc. The topic of conversation: what is wrong with our ward? Nobody dates! And . . . we spent 2 1/2 hours discussing that fact. Oh, there were relationship stories thrown in, people asking for advice, and the occasional hilarious comment, but really. After an hour I was ready to be gone. Now obviously the girls there were amazing people. I look up to them. They're very intelligent and wanted to make a change. But I was curious. Where was the planning? If we didn't like how things are, shouldn't we put together a game plan? A few suggestions were brought up, only to be shot down or left to die without discussion. The overarching conclusions: Dating in the ward could be better. Things need to change. Everyone's relationship is different. The end.

And I thought, did we really need to get together to come up with that?

See, here's my perspective. I'm a single 22-year-old who is happy where she is. And I see nothing wrong with that. Now, I understand that, as you get older, marriage becomes a higher and higher priority. I get that. My bishop gets it too. In fact, he gets the people in my ward better than they get themselves. During ward conference, he remarked "I have never seen so many unhappy people who are so unwilling to do anything about it." The man should write a book.

So if you're not dating and you want to be, do something about it. Getting a bunch of girls together in a room to bemoan the fact that the men in the ward need to step it up isn't going to help. Men always need to step it up, in girls' opinions. Instead, how about the girls do something? Invite the guys over. Make them food (fastest way to the heart, ladies). Ask the guy on a date. You may not get married, but at least you'll be dating and doing all you can do to get to that goal.

In the meantime, realize that it is possible to be happy without being married. Of course we're always working towards the best life we can imagine for ourselves, but there's nothing wrong with being happy with the single life. Or the dating life. Be happy wherever you are, and then life can only get better.

And if you're still not satisfied, please take into consideration the words of a former roommate: "If you don't like where you are, change it. You are not a tree."